Thursday, June 22, 2006
Couple friends vs. friends that are a couple:
Okay, we had/ she has friends, a couple, who started out our couple friends and are now clearly her friends who happen to be a couple. How can I complain, when I never call them (they don't call me either), never initiate interaction with them (ditto for them w/ me), etc. I'd just as soon not hang with them - they're okay, but there's something that has never quite clicked with me - there is some sort of contrived free-spiritedness, and pseudo-intellectualness, and a superficial "depth", and a quiet judging, that emanates from them, at least for me. I guess it was okay and now I'm having more of an issue with it because they are so clearly on "her side", with all the stress we're now going through... I want to tell them to shut the hell up and get away from me... she is going to grad school in another state now - a 3 year program - and leaving me with the house we bought just over a year ago... she's taking out extra loans to pay her half, so I guess I shouldn't bitch... but I can't help feeling like this is the beginning of the end.... this came outta nowhere, she couldn't wait until I finished my stupid dissertation which should be next year... she had to go now when I'm only working p/t and need to stay in this area because it is where my data is being collected... we just got married a year ago... and she makes this choice like a single person, rather than a couple. And her stupid friends that are a couple are her biggest cheerleaders... I really can't stand being around them of late. They bug me for not being around them lately - they even bought me some clothes - what the hell?! Beautiful thrift finds, but I still can't stomach all them... I want to unload the house, well, I don't want to but given the drastic changes in circumstances from when we bought it, I feel like it is a brick around my neck at the moment. The stupid couple friends - they can't bear one night apart from each other, by the way - are all about her going to school out of state... and they keep leaning on me to keep the home and home fires burning... I want us to be on equal footing - each with our own apts., rather than me rattling around this house I never woulda gotten if I knew I was going to be in it alone. I love living alone, I've lived alone most of my adult life, and I don't need all this house work and a money pit to boot. I'd be fine in a small apt., with my animals and my books and computer. I feel like a desperate lesbian housewife.... trapped in a house I don't want and a doctoral program I'm getting quite bored with... and her friends that are a couple traipsing in and out. I think it is good for us to each have our own friends - and my friends are certainly loyal and are on my "side", when push comes to shove. I don't know why her couple bugs me so much - except she describes them to people as our "best friends" and I start choking and think to myself "like hell!!!".
Okay, we had/ she has friends, a couple, who started out our couple friends and are now clearly her friends who happen to be a couple. How can I complain, when I never call them (they don't call me either), never initiate interaction with them (ditto for them w/ me), etc. I'd just as soon not hang with them - they're okay, but there's something that has never quite clicked with me - there is some sort of contrived free-spiritedness, and pseudo-intellectualness, and a superficial "depth", and a quiet judging, that emanates from them, at least for me. I guess it was okay and now I'm having more of an issue with it because they are so clearly on "her side", with all the stress we're now going through... I want to tell them to shut the hell up and get away from me... she is going to grad school in another state now - a 3 year program - and leaving me with the house we bought just over a year ago... she's taking out extra loans to pay her half, so I guess I shouldn't bitch... but I can't help feeling like this is the beginning of the end.... this came outta nowhere, she couldn't wait until I finished my stupid dissertation which should be next year... she had to go now when I'm only working p/t and need to stay in this area because it is where my data is being collected... we just got married a year ago... and she makes this choice like a single person, rather than a couple. And her stupid friends that are a couple are her biggest cheerleaders... I really can't stand being around them of late. They bug me for not being around them lately - they even bought me some clothes - what the hell?! Beautiful thrift finds, but I still can't stomach all them... I want to unload the house, well, I don't want to but given the drastic changes in circumstances from when we bought it, I feel like it is a brick around my neck at the moment. The stupid couple friends - they can't bear one night apart from each other, by the way - are all about her going to school out of state... and they keep leaning on me to keep the home and home fires burning... I want us to be on equal footing - each with our own apts., rather than me rattling around this house I never woulda gotten if I knew I was going to be in it alone. I love living alone, I've lived alone most of my adult life, and I don't need all this house work and a money pit to boot. I'd be fine in a small apt., with my animals and my books and computer. I feel like a desperate lesbian housewife.... trapped in a house I don't want and a doctoral program I'm getting quite bored with... and her friends that are a couple traipsing in and out. I think it is good for us to each have our own friends - and my friends are certainly loyal and are on my "side", when push comes to shove. I don't know why her couple bugs me so much - except she describes them to people as our "best friends" and I start choking and think to myself "like hell!!!".
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